When I think about Fassbinder, I don’t think about Germany but about Kraut Rock because Rainer Werner began for me with Tocotronic. Despair heißt auch eine Reise ins Licht*, sang Dirk Lowtzow once. Despair is also a journey into the light. Does despair thus finally lead to the light, to enlightenment? Or is the way to enlightenment, which lets us realize and in makes us desperate? All in all Lowtzow gave no answer.

Sometime later Eat Fear up the Soul. Two people, lost in language, prejudices and stary-eyed idealism, a love which provokes society’s hatred. A destiny, double bound. And then there were tears. The bitter tears. Not Immanuel’s. But Petra’s. The lonely, enthroned in her bed. Haunted by the past and never reaching the present. In contrast to the people Germany during that time. In autumn. When the present caught up with them and with it the past. An autumn, which was actually the second one. If Stig Dagerman would have expected this?

Yes, all this was a journey. Into the light. Of the dark cinemas and the moved images. To Fassbinder. At the same time: A journey of despair, because: A journey to enlightenment.

It was all in all in one.

And all for me.

So it is written – or it isn’t.

*Tocotronic: Alles in Allem. From the album: Pure Vernunft darf niemals siegen. 2005, L’age d’or.